14 STEPS TO HEAL DEPRESSION

1.  Decide to overcome depression.  

Believe in yourself and believe that it is possible.  Declare your commitment and dedication to overcoming depression.  

2. Ask friends and family to be supportive of your efforts.

 Some of them may be supportive and some of them may not be supportive.  You may decide to cut certain people out of your life or change the terms on which you interact with them if they are not supportive of your self improvement efforts.  Codependent relationships between friends, spouses, or parents may not genuinely support your efforts to overcome depression.  Some parents (subconsciously) raise their children to be weak and dependent on them because they are afraid that the child will leave them if the child is strong and can take care of themselves.  The something can happen in any relationship.  So when you ask friends and family to be supportive of your efforts be aware that they may or may not be genuinely supportive.  If they are not genuinely supportive, then you may need to take a break from them until you have shifted your vibration enough to reestablish the terms of the relationship.  

3. Seek profession help.  

There are so many different healing modalities so find what works for you.  Likely, a combination of a few different techniques will get you the best results.  If traditional talk therapy is not your thing , try any number of the following things: Hakomi Method, Cranial Sacral Therapy, Reiki, Somatic Therapy, Meditation, Psychoanalysis, Support Groups, Art Therapy, Drama Therapy, Hypnotherapy to name a few.  I am available for free healing sessions.

4. Be committed to helping yourself.  

Use positive affirmations or guided youtube meditations: I love to listen to this one on head phones before sleeping https: //youtu.be/0lkCrPjmwks

Read self help books.  Some of my favorites are: A Mind at Home with Itself, by Byron Katie, Super Brain, by Deepak Chopra, Energetic Boundaries, by Cyndi Dale, and for women Women's Bodies Women's Wisdom by Christiane Northrup.  There are countless self help books out there, research one that resonates with you or just go to a book store and peruse the aisles until you find one that you like.  

5. Exercise

Do some kind of exercise even if it is just a little: something is better than nothing.  You can build it into your schedule by using a 24 hour gym, or walking or riding your bike to work or to run errands.  You could also make it fun or social by going swimming, skating, dancing, hiking, rock climbing.  Or you can watch an exercise video in your living room or take your dog for a walk.  If you are able bodied, there is no excuse not to exercise!  You can always find a time and a way to get your body moving.  

6. Be willing to consider and try new things.  

Go outside of the box.  Go outside of your house.  Go outside of your comfort zone.  In order to overcome depression you will have to create new neuropathways.  The only way to do this is by doing new things, and reframing old thought patterns.  Be willing to prove yourself wrong if old habits and beliefs are making you depressed.  

7. Go outside.  

Spend time by yourself in nature.  Allow yourself to absorb the peacefulness of your surroundings.  Observe the beauty and synchronicity of nature, feel yourself a part of it.  

8. Limit cellphone and computer usage.  

The light from the screens messes with our brains and our sleep patterns so cut your screen time off when the sun goes down.  Also video games affect dopamine levels and can be abused just like food, sex, or drugs.  Relying on things like facebook or instagram for community or human contact can be detrimental to actual community building, so use technology as a tool but do not rely too heavily on it or it will lead you to depression.  

9.  Cultivate Self-Love

Imagine a friend, child, or partner who you love very much, someone for whom your heart overfills with love, then take this feeling of love that you feel towards them and feel it towards yourself.  Also spend 5 minutes each morning and evening saying the following to yourself: "May you be happy, may you be healthy, may you be at ease, and may you be free from discomfort."  Hug yourself.  Kiss yourself.  Look at yourself in the mirror and say, "I love you."

10.  Take 100% responsibility for your life.  

Regardless of the deck of cards that we were dealt in this life, we have a choice of how we are going to respond in terms of attitude and future behavior.  We get to build our lives brick by brick.  Each thought we think, word we speak, and action we take builds our life.  Say out loud to yourself, "I take 100% responsibility for my life."  If you feel any resistance to this that will show you where you can begin your work toward happiness.  If you find yourself saying, I take 100% responsibility for my life but my parents really fucked me up.  Start there.  Or if you find yourself saying I take 100% responsibility for my life but the system is fucked up.  Start there.  If you find yourself saying I take 100% responsibility for my life but I am so ugly, start there.  There is always a choice.  The famous Dutch Mystic Etty Hillesum who died in the holocaust threw a post card out the window of the train as she was being taken to Auswitch to be killed that said, "Tell them that we died smiling."  This is the ultimate example of how it is possible to have peace in our hearts in even the most difficult situations.  

11. Forgive others and yourself.  

Holding resentment towards others can cause sickness in your body and sadness in your mind.  You must forgive everyone no matter how shitty a thing they have done.  You will only hurt yourself by holding onto resentment.  Work to forgive others and yourself completely.  

"To forgive is to set a prisoner free and to discover that the prisoner was you." -Lewis B. Smedes

12. Practice Gratitude.

The secret to happiness is being grateful for what you have when you have it.  There is beauty all around and even when times are tough there are still so many things to be grateful for.  Gratitude changes the chemistry in your brain.  Cultivate gratitude in your life and watch your life transform.    Spend 5 minutes when you first wake up and 5 minutes as you are falling asleep.  When you eat and drink, spend a moment in gratitude.  When you see something beautiful, spend a moment in gratitude.  When you are around people you love, spend a moment in gratitude, tell them that you are grateful for them.  Do you have a dog?  Do you have legs?  Do you enjoy music?  Be grateful for these things and everything!

13. Practice Mindfulness.  

We are the powerful creators of our lives.  Every thought we think, word we speak, and action we take has consequences.  When we become aware of our unconscious process, we have a choice in how we want to handle it. We build our lives brick by brick.  Begin by getting to know your shadow.  Notice things that you think that you might not want anyone to know or you might not be proud of.  Look at this part of your self.  Get to know it.  Spend time with it.  Next listen to how you speak to yourself.  Where you hear negative self talk, switch it out with positive self talk.  It may take years to master this but you can start by bringing awareness to your internal dialogue.  Next pay attention to what you say.  Choose kind words to yourself and to others. Phrase things in a positive way.  Rather than saying, "Don't eat ice-cream." Try saying, "I eat appropriate portions of healthy food."  Next, pay attention to what you do.  Are you spending time on things that do not work toward your ultimate goals or even take away from your goals?  Make everything count.  Live your passion and your purpose.  Don't waste your time on mindless numbing out.  Stay alert for everything so that you can savor it all.  

14.  Learn to roll with the punches.  

Can you learn to laugh at your own flat tire? Life is full of surprises and ups and downs.   You must trust that everything is going to turn out ok in the end, and surrender to the process.  Mother Theresa said, "Some people come into your life as a blessing and some people come into your life as a lesson." Everything is a blessing, every open door, every closed door.  Learn to see the beauty in things and trust in good.  Life is about learning so learn how to keep a positive attitude even when things don't go exactly the way you expected.  Do not become overly fixated on outcomes or controlling the situation.  If you do not get the job that you were hoping to get, trust that this job was not meant for you at this time and that whatever is most right for you now is what is happening.  Be patient, things will unfold as they are meant to.  You cannot control outside circumstances but you can decide how you will respond to things.  

 

 

Cassandra O'Connor